5 Times Puck Drove Rachel Crazy
by ladygeneral
Summary: “Be honest. Tell me you’ve never wanted a piece of this?”


Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

**5 Times Puck Drove Rachel Crazy**

1.

Well, for starters, he's far too cocky for his own good. He could, literally, go on forever about how badass his guns are and would have no qualms about putting them into good use if someone even dares to suggest otherwise.

"Be honest. Tell me you've never wanted a piece of this?"

Rachel merely rolled her eyes.

Bottom-line is that he looks good and he knows it.

Rachel doesn't think it's very fair.

2.

There was also that one time during the Christmas where the Glee Club had decided to do a Secret Santa gift exchange. Rachel, being Rachel, had put a lot of thought into her gift for Tina and had hoped that whoever her Secret Santa was, he or she would put the same amount of effort into her own present.

That Christmas night, when it was time for the big reveal, Puck walked up to her with a lazy smile plastered on his face and handed her a card (read: a piece of paper folded in two). But of course, as the fates would have it, she got stuck with Puck, of all people. Always the optimist, she thought that she should at least be thankful that she got anything from him at all.

But when his gift actually turned out to be an invitation to the party in his pants, she shook her head and wondered why she didn't expect anything less.

Rachel slaps him every time he asks if she's ready to take him up on the offer.

3.

Contrary to popular belief, Puck knows what he wants and he would do practically anything (short of giving up sex completely) to get it.

Rachel once told him that his ruthless determination could serve a greater purpose if he could only apply it to something other than his own selfish reasons.

"You know what, Berry? It takes one to know one."

"Excuse me, but I would never fake a spinal injury to evoke sympathy and coerce someone-- a former teacher, no less-- into giving me some illegal substance."

"Hey, do you happen to remember how this teacher got canned in the first place?"

"That's totally different!" Rachel protested.

"Uh huh."

Rachel huffed as she folded her arms across her chest. She hates it when he's right. Maybe they are more alike than she originally thought.

4.

"So, you're still in love with Quinn," Rachel said softly as the realization dawned upon her. It all makes so much sense now.

Puck's posture tensed visibly but he merely gestured his head towards the golden couple. Rachel followed his gaze only to see the object of his affection giving hers a warm smile and a peck on the lips before walking out of the hallway hand in hand.

Rachel momentarily closed her eyes, trying to ignore the growing ache in her heart.

"I won't tell if you won't," she heard Puck say as he walked away from her.

Rachel doesn't understand how someone who she barely even knows can see straight right through her.

5.

Puck slides into a seat next to her. "Loosen up, Berry. You're supposed to have fun."

Rachel's back stiffened. "Who's to say that I'm not having a perfectly enjoyable time reflecting on my life choices while listening to the delightful music this quaint little place has to offer."

Puck stared at her blankly. "Dude, you're in a bar."

"Which is a felony in itself," Rachel hissed. "I must have temporarily lost my sanity when I foolishly agreed to go along with this juvenile plan of yours."

Juvenile wasn't the only word that came to mind. There's also stupid, irrational, imprudent, reckless and… stupid. Had she mentioned stupid?

Her head started whirring with all the things that could possibly go wrong at that moment. They could get caught. They could get arrested. Oh my God, they could go to jail! There goes her NYU scholarship. She cursed herself and her stupidity, mentally kicking the part of her that thought that any of this was a good idea in the first place.

"Okay, Crazy. Listen to me," Puck said as he grabbed her shoulders. "You need to take that fucking stick out of your ass and learn to fucking live a little."

Rachel let out an indignant cry and was, no doubt, about to give him a piece of her mind, but was silenced as he placed his hand on her lips.

"You have the rest of your fucking life to be perfect. Right now, you need to stop being a control freak, forget that douche I call my best friend and chill, the fuck, out," he said slowly, making sure that she fully understood everything that he was saying.

When it became clear that he wasn't going to take no for an answer, Rachel nodded hesistantly.

"Okay, cool," Puck said as he removed his hand from her lips and ordered two rounds of tequila shots for the both of them.

Clinking their tequila shots together, Puck grinned.

"Bottom's up, Berry."

Rachel doesn't really remember anything after that.


End file.
